Because I can.
What the heck am I talking about? Ok, I will fill in the blanks. I race…..because I can. And lets face it, I also race because I LOVE it. But really I gotta admit that while hanging out on the start line feeling like death warmed over last Saturday I wanted to DNF right then and there. It was the first big Cyclocross race of the season in Utah and my warm up of only one lap of the race course course about sent me over the edge. It was appearing as though I needed more gears and more lungs already as I sat idle on the start line. Add too that overall I wasn’t feeling stellar. Great.
It was soon after a brief conversation with Cindy a gal officiating the event at the start line that my mind was reset. The inspiration to just get out there and race came when Cindy was talking to me about her battle with Stage 3 breast cancer and as she opened up about that along with knowing what my husband is up against (actually the cancer is up against HIM, believe me) I had a quick brain reset. And that reset came just in time for the gun to go off and for me to get the holeshot. I was now racing because I could. I wasn’t racing because I was perfectly ready or felt great, I was just doing it to DO IT. At that moment with my nose to the wind I immediately saw all doubts erased, legs felt GREAT and the efforts felt as effortless as they can feel when you are cross eyed and trying not to barf. It was one of those GREAT days on the bike that you always dream of having at the right race.
My mind and body alike was suddenly not going to lose this race. In fact, I was going to win and I wasn’t given an inch. Whoa, easy now Kathy….how did you get here when you were somewhere else a moment ago? Who knows but I was all there as an athlete both mentally and physically and most importantly having the punch when I needed it. But since I haven’t been training for this kind of intensity I am not sure where it came from. Now having said that….during the race in the middle of eyeballs popping out efforts I had visions of my (now passed) mom and dad pushing me around on course. This vision just popped randomly into my head mid race. Over the years since their death I have evolved spiritually and I believe for myself that if I think something like that during a state when I’m not thinking about outside things, it is likely happening on another energetic level. They knew I needed them on this day as I powered up the hilly course and careened safely down the rocky single track for only the 2nd time on my cross bike racing this year. It was a magical day which concluded with crossing the line in first place!!
On an interesting note, when I looked at the podium shot for the first time I couldn’t help but notice the light shining into my hands with me looking up slightly to the sky. None of this was intentional when I was doing it but it really got me thinking or maybe even just solidified my suspicion. And with that, thanks to all my supporters for helping me make a day like this happen! I am so glad I did it!